fog of drama

“Dennis, as a leader one of the greatest battles I fight every day, is the fight for clarity.”  This is one of the most insightful comments I heard this week.  It’s easy in our organizations to get sidetracked or derailed.  There are a myriad of issues that pop up on a minute by minute basis and if you’re not careful, you find yourself chasing tangents.  You’re extremely busy but not really effective.  This is the battle I see leaders fight every day.  They are super busy, worn out and run down, but not hitting their goals.  Have you ever been in this situation?

It’s when you’re lost in the sea of ambiguity that drama can creep into your team and derail your progress.  When people are in drama, they blame and complain.  They believe they have no control.  They believe they aren’t responsible, so they don’t do anything to fix the situation.  They play the role of a victim and nothing changes.  When people are in the fog of drama, results suffer.

Confusion produces the drama.

Lack of clarity is the biggest reason for the drama in any organization.  Anytime you lose focus, your level of commitment will diminish and you end up in a fog.  When people are unclear it becomes easy to assign the blame to others.  As the fog of drama rolls in, confusion abounds.  Then the confusion leads to more drama.  Where there is drama, rarely is there clarity. 

Conflict, blaming and playing the victim exist because our lives and businesses are splintered.  Somewhere we are unclear in an area of our personal or professional lives.  Drama is no respecter of persons or situations.  It occurs any time there is a lack of clarity.  If it impacts you personally, it will also affect you professionally and vice versa.

Clarity fixes the drama.

In any situation, it’s the person with clarity that becomes the true leader.  As clarity increases, confusion is diminished, the fog lifts and people begin to see clearly.  Clarity is power and the more you possess the more powerful you become.  Clarity can change any situation. Drama filled people feel powerless.  They lack the clarity they need to regain their personal power.  The more clear you become the more power you possess.  It’s this personal power that causes you to take action and produce results.  Once you are clear in your business, you are in charge.

What do I need?

Ask yourself this question when you feel the fog of drama rolling in.  Most of people’s drama is the tragic expression of an unmet need.  Simply getting clear on your true needs helps you clarify your expectations.  Often it’s the gap between reality and expectations that creates the drama.  The larger the gap, the stronger the drama.  When you become clear, you’ll communicate clearer to others.

Frustrated with situations & people

not changing fast enough?


We’ve all been there.  We want results and quality outcomes, but everywhere we turn there are roadblocks.  We try to push forward only to get detoured by the drama.  We see the potential of what could be, but just can’t get past the blaming and complaining that is around us.  It’s frustrating, I know.  While you might not always be able to stop The Drama, you can learn to stop Your Drama.

One of my wife’s favorite quotes is, “Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass.  It’s about learning to dance in the rain”.  It’s a great picture of someone that keeps their focus on only what they can control.  You cannot control the weather.  Sometimes it rains.  There is nothing you can do about it.  But what you can control is your response to the rain.

One of the first steps in creating drama-free teams is first learning to separate The drama from Your drama.  You can’t stop the rain, but you can learn to navigate the ship even in a storm.  Many times circumstances are out of our control.  You cannot control the economy.  You cannot control other people.  In fact, there are very few things you can control.  Personal drama creeps in when people focus on things that are simply outside of their control.  Frustration, resentment, anger, bitterness sneak in and destroy personal productivity.  Many times, it’s simply a result of misaligned focus.

control, drama

What can you control?

You are in charge of you.  Nothing else.  To believe otherwise, is an exercise in frustration.  If you focus on trying to control other people’s actions, you’ll live in a state of frustration.  People frequently ask me, “Dennis, how do I motivate my team?”  Truthfully, people are going to do what they do.  Someone’s motivation flows out of their personal motive.  It’s their personal why.  That’s something that’s hard to change.  You cannot control other people.  Stop trying.

You are ridiculously in charge of you.  You cannot control events, circumstances or people.  You only can control yourself.  People that live drama-free understand that it’s not the event that determines their circumstances, but it’s their response to that event that will determine the outcome.  Taking control of your response will eliminate your personal drama.

Event + Response = Outcome

You are in control of your response.  Drama-full people believe they have no control.  It’s their circumstances or the events that happen to them that are determining their results.  Don’t believe this lie.  Your reaction to what’s happening around you determines the results you get.  Nothing else.  Because you’re in charge of your reactions, you determine your outcomes.

It’s true, you might not be able to stop someone else’s drama, but you certainly can stop your own drama.  You can take back your personal power by owning your response.  You can’t control events.  But you are ridiculously in charge of you.  Are you dissatisfied with the outcome?  Stop trying to control the event.  Take control of you and change your response.  It makes all the difference.

What can you do today, to take control of your response?


Blackboard "Mindset"Be prepared and stop the drama

“This is the most prepared we are have ever been moving into a new year”, Mike shared with me.  It was a different story 5 years ago.  When I first started working with this service based business, there was no planning process.  It was chaotic and stressful.  I could just feel the peace emulating from Mike now.  It was going to be a great year.

Change your mindsets to reduce the drama

I knew there were two mind-set shifts that finally occurred for this team.  In the strategic planning process, this is the biggest battle we all face.  If we can win the battle between the ears, then the battle is won.

Here’s how Mike described the two mindset changes that he developed to reduce his stress and decrease the internal drama:

1.  Right people in the right seats.

Instead of Mike trying to do everything on his own, he began to delegate.  Many people believe they are delegating only to realize they are only dumping.  Delegating is not only releasing a responsibility physically but also mentally.  If you keep asking yourself, “Are they going to do this?”  then youI haven’t truly delegated.  Delegating is more about clearing mental space than physical space.  Mike delegated the marketing plan to another team member he could trust.  This simple act changed his world.

2.  Stop trying to be all things to all people.

It’s such a stress reliever when you lose your messiah complex.  You can’t help everyone, not even the greatest teacher that ever lived, Jesus, could help everyone.  He let the religious leaders of the day to work with fishermen.  He knew who he could help.  When you discover whose success is on your mind, it’s incredibly freeing.  You don’t have to help everyone, but you do need to help someone.  When you discover your target market it shapes what and how you perform your service.  You don’t have to be great at everything to everyone, but you need to be great at something to someone.

What mindsets need to change in order to change your organization?